I just arrived at the heart of now retreat. Rosie and some of the other participants are hot tubbing down below my second floor bedroom and I can hear Rosie's telling her "oh the trauma" story at full volume. I always feel a little uncomfortable when she tells it. She sounds mean making fun of the fifth grade fat kid with the funny voice. She just came back up to the room now so I'll tell her what I've written and go to sleep.

After much prompting from friends and family I'm finally at the doctor's office again. Really it was the pain of my most recent pustule that got me in here. My chin is very swollen, but so uniformly that I just look like someone else...someone with a bigger chin, rather than like someone with a deformity, which is more how I feel. The swelling reaches all the way up into my lower lip and gums, making it painful to talk. I decided to try a dermatologist this time, we'll see if they can help or if this is just more good money after bad.

Rosie is here with me. She has a study day off from school and she drove me here so I wouldn't have to worry about parking. I'm glad to have her with me. We tried reading Abhorsen in the waiting room, but I couldn't concentrate for fear of disturbing the other patients.

John Longendorfer, the devil-angel who wants to buy my business called me yesterday. He says the reason his deposit check bounced is because he was the victim of identity theft, which is bullshit, and that the deal is still on, which I fervently hope isn't. Tony didn't show up for work yesterday and didn't call, again. I talked to him today though and he is supposedly straightening things out with our irate customers. The bills are piling up and I can't pay them all. I really hope this deal goes through and puts all these problems solidly in my past.

Keli and Hany are having little domestic disputes down in LA which only make me miss them more.