I just woke up with the thought that the brain is like a net, as if the nueral network were literaly catching information out of the air. When we are born, thrust unexpectedly into the crazy world, we start frantically weaving this net, designing it as we go, to catch the few things that we're able to make sense of, to ignore all the rest. At first, this buisness of ignoring is the most important, since we're so overwhelmed with information. Then sometime around pueberty we have a working model of the world that mostly makes sense, even if it's woefully incomplete. We then spend the rest of our lives trying to unweave parts of or net, so that we can experience more directly more of the world we were so eager to filter out.

My back pain is not so poor a companion as one might think. I'm learning to appreciate it's hearkening call back into the moment. With my attention right there on the experience it's never unbearable. Just the opposite really, I usually stretch or twist or turn to somehow momentarily increase the sensation, as if I were saying to myself; this? is this all? no, surely the pain that's been calling so incessantly for my attention is more than this, wait, yes, okay, THAT hurts. Good.

Jason had invited me to get together with him and Erica last night. He said he'd come over by 5:30, but I got distracted playing Titan Quest and didn't realize that he hadn't shown up yet until 7:30. I called to ask what was up and it turns out he'd fallen asleep. He called the whole thing off and I felt relieved, disapointed, and irritated all at the same time. I had worked hard, ha, make that walked around alot for three hours or so doing the fire inspection for The Pines with Tony earlier in the day so I was beat and my back was screaming. I'd thought about cancelling myself and didn't. And that's the irritation peace; I hadn't really relaxed fully or made other plans because I thought I had this thing to do. Probably the only thing I would have changed is to smoke more weed though anyway.

So far today:

downloaded porn
watched two very hot scenes
wrote Keli a return email
wrote Roz a return email
read a few pages of Rice and Salt
tried to pay the sales tax but realized i don't have a complete printout for june and the tax is wrong for august
transfered music to my phone
wrote a journal entry