I got very drunk tonight. Just finished throwing up. And still managed to win a game a Age of Mythology played with Gar and Joe. I quit quiting smoking just as soon as I got home. Then quit again, maybe. What's the use. Brian saves and cheers me with his comments every time when I think, oh, god, I should keep this journal private. Thanks Brian. I'm still desperat to hear from Kelly, who still isn't writting, and I'm thinking alot about Eve, Dirdre, Rosie, Annie with whom I've fallen out of contact. Are they mad at me? Or am I just persuing old fears?

Did I think I was through with puking? Another 45 minutes with the toilet bowl just corrected that assumption. How much did I drink? I have no idea. 3 rum and cokes on the planes today... maybe 6 beers tonight? Thats alot, but spread out over he whole day I would have thought I'd be fine. Better to learn, Better to suffer.