Yesterday we woke up at Hostel Azteka, strange place that it is with it's constant 80's sound track, expensive bar, big swimming pool, and cool sectioned dormitory with horribly uncomfortable beds. We had a breakfast of eggs, gallo pinto, queso blanco, and coffee and played some more rummy. Then we set out for Rivas again with all our bags.

As soon as we got there Keli opened up her umbrella, parasol style, right into my face without realizing it. I had to sidestep to get out of the way and a bicycle lorry ran right into me. Keli was oblivious to the whole scene and as I hurried to catch up to her, I saw her almost take out someone else with the spinning spokes of death. I took the umbrella from her and closed it up, telling her that her paras privleges were revoked. She was defiant though, and just opened it back up. Five minutes later a teenager in a white teeshirt had to leap out of her way and I tried again, laughing, but she said that people were responsible for themselves and could see where they were going.

We picked up the paint she wanted, and most importantly, the fan. The family that Keli and Hany are staying with have only one fan, and they've given over it's use to their guests. The woman is sorely missing it though and even after she made it known that she'd like it back Hany has been reluctant to give it up. Carrying that thing around over my shoulder became more and more rediculous as the day went on. We kept laughing imagining what all the people thought of a gringo backpacker travelling around with his own huge plug in fan. With the help of no less than three locals we managed to collapse the stand enough to fit the thing into the trunk of the taxi and we were off to the ferry from San Jorge to Omatepe.

Keli met some more travelers from the US on the ferry, one of whom whas from Louisianna. She had a bit of a crush on him when she wasn't fantasizing that he was an undercover cop trying to lure her into admitting that she'd bought some weed the day before. They invited us to hang out with them ad we figured we'd have a meal together since our bus wasn't for another hour after the ferry landed.

But when we were on land there was just enough time for brief introductions. They asked me what the fan was for and I said it was hot. Then they asked how much it was! Maybe they thought having a fan with you was a good idea. So, then our bus pulled up and we said goodbye and got on in a hurry. No time even for a pee break, which turned out to be a problem since we both really had to go and the bus trip was at least an hour. Eventually I got clear that I wouldn't make it and we got the bus to stop and let us off in Los Angeles.

We peed on the side of the road in front of a farmhouse with some kids peeping out at us through the bushes. An old woman came out to and spoke to us in a friendly manner. My idea was to fnd a restaurant and wait for the next bus, so we walked back along the town's main road to no avail. When we couldn't find anything more substantial than a pulperia (snack shop) we switched to Keli's plan which was to walk out of town, smoke a jay, and keep walking until we came across a bus or hitched a ride. This was a much better plan.

Even with Hany's enourmous backpack and the fan slung over my shoulder I felt like I could have walked forver. Keli and I fell into a roleplay imagining that flights to Mars were available for $200,000 or free for convicts ad that I wanted to go and wanted her and our unborn daughter to come with me. Not having the money even for myself my first plan was to get us thrown in jail. She wasn't up for this idea, imagining that too much could go wrong. She was concerned too about leaving her mother behind, and everyone else she knew. She retreated, saying that she got it, she understood, I should go if I wanted to go and that maybe she would follow. This wasn't good enough for me. I wanted her with me if there was any way I could have it and pressed her for the next step in determining whether that was possible. Was it a conversation with her mom that was neccessary? I said I could wait a year to find out whether she could come with me and she was disheartened. A year seemed like not much time to decide who to leave forever. The whole roleplay brought up some real and uncomfortable emotions. It was good practice.

I was almost sorry when a pickup pulled over for us without our ever even sticking out a thumb. We climbed into the back even though there were unused passenger seats in the cab, and there was no need even for discussion about where we were going as at that point there was only one road. I kept telling Keli how nice it was that they saw us walking and just stopped to pick us up. She asked if I'd noticed they were white. I hadn't. In fact, the pickup was a budget rental. Still a great experience, but not the insight into local culture I'd imagined.

After a few kilometers the pickup was flagged down by some local women and our drivers stopped for them too. They asked where we were going and we said up the road. They asked where the pickup was going and we said we didn't know. They laughed. One of the women got out shortly thereafter but the other stayed. I was confused by what happened next. Keli beat on the side of the pickup so they would let us out and I thought we were within walking distance of our destination, but we ran across the street and got on another bus. I had no idea where we were going and that was fine with me. I told Keli I wanted to leave all the decisions to her. I was really enjoying the trip.

The bus drove on roads of dirt and rock, so muddy now in the rainy season that l thought we might get stuck. We rode through kilometers of banana farms and I was overcome with the alienness of my surroundings. The flora looked like some Vietnamese battlefield, and who were these strange, dark people all around me? Was I really considering making this place my home? As we drove through little towns I thought that the only thing that made these people seem less primative than indigenous tribes were the cement and cinderblock houses they lived in. And what difference does that make, really? Do I really want a life so different from everything I've known? I was surprized to find that even though I was scared, scared for the first time, my fear dawning on me like something previously undiscoverd, my answer was yes. I do want this. At least to try it.

The bus brought us to Casa de Istam, a touristy and buggy if very nice hostel by Nicaraguan standards. The place is full of American backpackers, thougn we haven't really met any of them. I had a pricy steak dinner costing almost $4 and keli had a vegetable club sandwiche, which still had meat.

Over dinner we talked about the possibility of my leading workshops out of her parent's place in Louisianna, and about the boundries workshop I'll be doing at summer camp, and the ones I've done. This stirred something deep in Keli and she started to cry a little. I got that she missed me and felt the loss of missing out on these parts of my life. We finished off dinner quickly and made our way out to the beach where Keli could more comfortably give full expression to her tears. I was so touched I was almost embarassed, wanting to say: It's nothing, I haven't done anything yet, I'm just cutting my teeth. But she knows this, and she loves me, and she feels the loss of the experience. I can only be grateful.

It was so lovely on the beach, and our pot trip that afternoon had been so wonderful that we wanted to smoke again out on the beach. We found a shadowed spot on the soft sand and spread out Keli's sarong for a blanket. She lay with her head in my lap and we listened to the chorus of the night, the frogs, insects, bats, and birds, but above all the frogs. I think we could differentiate between individuals. We took turns mimicing the sounds and trying to identify each one. I could never tire of such a rich symphony.

When we'd drunk our fill of the night sounds we went back to our room to lie down. Keli let out a little moan or sigh everytime I touched her. This excited me and soon I had my head between her legs licking and sucking to her heavy breathing. I did this until she could take no more and then I put on a condom to fuck her. She came right away, but she was being so careful to be quiet for our neighbors (whom we could hear talking in the next room) that I didn't know it, and I rolled her on top of me to ride me into bliss. That was goodnight.